Sep. 3, 2015

Nighttime Visits

I have to admit, I am not a morning person. Not in the least. With school starting this week, I'm realizing it even more. Over the summer, I got to experience the wonder of my ideal day! The first part of my day would start around 8am, but that was actually just zombie mom until I really woke up around 10am or so and hit my stride about noon. (I really wish I liked coffee, but alas, I find it terribly disgusting.) I was then alert and awake until I finally gave in and crawled into bed at about 1 or 2 in the morning. Those late night hours while the kids were asleep, I liked to work on furthering my business (yay!), spend quality time with my husband, clean the house, or try to fold the mountain of laundry that threatens to overrun my couch.

When my husband and I finally do get to bed, the last thing I want to hear is that annoying alarm go off that signals the start of the day. But I do have a confession to make…sleeping is not always very restful for me. Perhaps you can relate? My brain is usually wound up, my body is tired, and then on a pretty regular basis actually, there is one of those interruptions that I secretly love; the little pitter patter of Logan's feet as he comes into the bedroom in the middle of the night.

At the initial point of when I am awakened by his little footsteps, touch or voice, I am startled and then completely blessed by the wonder of holding my precious little boy. Sometimes it could be a bad dream, or at other times it's just him, coming in to check on me and say "Mom, I love you." Those three words coming from him are so innocent, deliberate, and packed with meaning. It has really got me thinking about the concept of love.

Love has so many different meanings. I LOVE chocolate! I LOVE that one particular movie!! I LOVE that song, or actor, or sunset, or… fill in the blank. I love my husband, kids, extended family, and friends. But there is one area that I have struggled with loving for many years. Myself.

Loving myself was not easy for many years. Why? Because I didn't like the person I saw in the mirror and I really didn't like the person behind the face that lacked control. The Bible says to "love your neighbor as yourself," but how can you truly love yourself, if you don't even like yourself? Which then poses an even bigger question, how do I love others if I don't love myself? I'm not talking about narcissism here, but I am talking about a healthy view of ourselves. You and I are designed to appreciate life as a gift and to love it from within. Please hear this in love, whatever things are hanging you up, change them, or get over them. It is time for us all to truly love ourselves, because there are so many other people that desperately need us to truly love them.