Aug. 21, 2015

Thin Space Between

There is a thin space between joy and pain. It was such a blessing to see my sister and her youngest son for a couple days this past week. Paxton is now 6 months old (I know! It’s crazy how fast time flies!!!!) and it feels like he’s as big as Logan was at a year! He is such a happy baby and brings us all a great deal of joy, especially with a cloud of tragedy that was hanging over us when he was born. A week before he was born, his big brother Zane had a tragic pool accident at his grandmother’s house in North Carolina. We still are unclear about many of the details, but Zane nearly drown and was underwater long enough to cause severe brain damage.

One month earlier things were very different. My pregnant sister and Zane were staying with us as her husband was in North Carolina preparing their house to be the dream home that they had always wanted to raise their family in. One of my happiest memories of all of us together was our trip to the Christmas tree farm. Zane was a beautiful, happy handful with acres to run through. I can’t help but smile as I remember my pregnant sister, my kids, and sometimes even my husband running after him, while he laughed, smiled, and kept just barely out of their reach. It seemed like he was almost taunting them and the rest of the world to try to keep up with him. That afternoon was probably the best memory I have of him.

Then a month later that phone call came that made time stand still. It is so hard to put a world back together once it has been so completely broken. I guess that isn’t my job to do, but I really want to. Almost seven months after the accident, he has made some significant progress. Miracles are real. Just the fact that he could be resuscitated, survive the first week, was taken off from oxygen support and all his organs seem to be operating fine, is evidence of the miraculous power of prayer. But now it is time for the next step in this ongoing miracle.

This next step is what is called hyperbaric chamber therapy. This cutting edge therapy is helpful in awakening unused brain cells to restore the brains normal functions. Unfortunately though, the chambers are large, and they are very expensive, which is where we all need your help. Zane has his own GoFundMe account that is specifically being used to raise funds for this hyperbaric chamber therapy.  We need help in sharing Zane’s story and finding people who can join with us in donating toward his recovery.

We hope and pray that Zane will continue to improve. Each day we wait in expectation for the moment that he will be able to look at his mom and dad and smile or move his arms toward his parents’ faces on purpose. Zane was the happiest, fastest, most daring toddler I have ever met. We would love to get that boy back. If you want to read more about Zane’s story or his progress over the last 6 months, you can read more on his website: www.caringbridge.org/visit/zanelocklear2. If you would like to donate or share his GoFundMe page, please visit: www.gofundme.com/zanebaby.

The one takeaway that I have from all of this is the importance of being in the moment for what it is. By being with Paxton as he smiled and laughed, I needed to join with him in his joy and laughter. By being with my sister and family in Zane’s tragedy, I am broken, hurting, and striving to bring awareness and resources into the miracle that is his healing. We all need to learn to join with each moment for what it is. It is through identifying with people that we will find peace, joy, and comfort in this life.