Jul. 15, 2015

I had given up...

I had basically given up on myself and my dreams when I headed in to see my doctor in 2013 with severe headaches. I was told that I could go blind or worse from a serious medical condition that was getting worse because of my rapid weight gain. It’s at that point that I went from having no hope to desperation. After hearing this news, I went up to the front of my church on a Sunday morning asking for healing prayer. I was asking God to perform a miracle and get this weight off and make me healthy because I couldn’t do it on my own.

Despite the desperation to get the weight off, I continued trying things and then failing. Nothing was working. Two months later, a friend recommended this healthy lifestyle program, and I thought, “what do I have to lose?” About a month into it, I realized that God had provided that miracle. After just two and a half months on the program, I went in to see my doctor again to find out that my condition had completely reversed and I was clear to come off the dangerous medications completely! I had a clean bill of health.

After six months on the program, I actually hit my goal, losing over 80 pounds. This program literally saved my life. Who knows what would have happened to my health if I wouldn’t have given it a try. But more than just preventing my death, it actually brought me new life. I hadn’t realized how depressed and isolated I was. I had become so shy and unwilling to go anywhere or try anything. I hadn’t taken my kids to the beach in years or anywhere where I’d be exposed.

I avoided cameras like the plague. At my heaviest, I literally only had one pair of pants and three shirts because I was unwilling to go up yet another size. I was unwilling to go into another dressing room and come home sobbing.

This all hit me when I went shopping with a friend a couple months back. For the first time since high school, all the clothes I grabbed actually fit. The joy and emotional relief that came over me was extreme and I was happy. (So happy that I decided to do impromptu cartwheels down the dressing room hallway!) After reaching my goals, the confidence started coming back. That silly, outgoing, confident kid inside of me finally started coming out.

I didn’t realize how low and depressed I was until I became healthy. I could finally look back and see myself before and see the transformation that happened all under my own nose. Because of my life changing, my family’s lives were changed as well. I am now taking my kids to the beach, to water parks, places I never would have been caught before. I get to play with them without being self-conscious or without running out of energy in the first five minutes.

My six-year old daughter has also picked up on the changes. She has started requesting healthy snacks in the afternoon because she knows that they are good for her body and will help her grow. She says she wanted to be healthy and happy just like mommy. That is powerful. And so the changes I've made are carrying forward as our new life begins.